The Self-Lead Person
April 27th, 2011
In a recent interview with my guest, Dr. Richard Schwartz, an internationally renowned psychologist and author, we talked about what it takes to be a self-lead person and how the “true self” is finally able to emerge – not an easy process, considering all of our inner layers and parts.
Ask yourself, when do you get charged up emotionally? What gets you activated?
Consider your relationship to your thoughts and emotions, how your inner parts interact with each other, how you relate to the parts of you that you dislike or don’t want others to see. How do YOU talk to those parts of you? Perhaps this is when your “internal critic”, “task master”, “perfectionist”, or “pessimistic” part (among others) step in, as Richard suggests in his book.
As I’ve learned from my work, most of us just want to be rid of these parts, wishing them away – but they won’t go away. It’s about getting these parts of us to relax that allows the true self to emerge.
In my conversation with Richard, he talked about the importance of learning to be “curious” (like the innocent child) and “compassionate” to all of these parts of us. Being curious, like the inquisitive child, and compassionate, versus being judgmental or harsh. As you learn to step back, unburden and be compassionate to all of your internal parts, THIS is when the authentic, “true self”, has the opportunity to emerge and to lead.
Richard described the self-lead person as having the following characteristics: Curiosity, Compassion, Confidence, Creativity, Calmness, Clarity, Courage and Connectedness. No wonder we just intuitively FEEL the presence of a self-lead person!
I credit Dr. Richard Schwartz for his clarity and the applicable way in which he describes this complex process of working with our inner parts.
Remember that leading with the “true self” offers you the opportunity to live a more joyful life, a life that is rich, full of meaning and passion.
A final message from Dr. Schwartz as we concluded the interview, “May the SELF be with you”.
I can think of one more “C” word that Dr. Schwartz could add to the above list:” Caveman”! Nice post. I enjoyed reading it!